Who am I?

This is not so much an existential conundrum as a fork in the path of my life. It won't seem that important or sensible unless you understand so hear it is:
I've never been too happy with my name. In the wrong hands Alexander Jahans becomes Alexandra Yohans and there in lies a world of pain and agony when every P.E teacher thinks they're being really clever when they pronounce your name in a foreign way.

That's probably a bit racist so sorry but Jahans does to some ears sound a bit foreign. My dad is constantly asked where he comes from and as a result he virtually has a pie chart detailing just how much of him is foreign and where from. The whole point is moot when it comes to me because as far as I'm concerned I'm English! My dad's born and raised in Bristol, his mum helped in the war, and my mum comes from such an English bloodline that my uncle now lives in Shakespeare's home town. I myself am a very loyal fan of the BBC and proudly feel a mixture of nostalgia and patriotism when I see the Great British Icons.

Okay I can tell you're all wondering now if I vote for the BNP and I don't, though I would rather like the BNP to be like British national sports, full of the best from all around the world. Also I rather like my middle name, Gordon, nice and resounding in it's stiff upper lipness. Gordon is the name of a banker, fiercely intelligent, serious, moral, a bit dull maybe but eminently trust worthy.

I like Gordon, Gordon's a nice name.

Other things to consider are the facts that someone by the name of Alex Jahans has a widely known reputation in Woking, one he doesn't like, and there is the fact that I did a lot of things as Alex Jahans that I now regret but things that I cannot simply ignore as childish stupidity because at the time I always thought it was the right thing to do, I can't devalue or cheapen those choices but neither can I be associated with them. I have to draw a line in the sand and say that was then and this is now.

Also I have changed so much since those schooldays, I have done so much, to keep calling myself the same person when the habits and thoughts, the personality and the actual physicality are long gone is a lie and a sham. Alex Jahans died watching Top gear on Dave then I took over, eager to learn about the world and fit in, he lingered on though, the madness and naivety of Alex Jahans continued on until the death of the tenth Doctor and the end of 2009. Now the scheming loner who cared only for tele and not for hygiene or education or a balanced diet, the boy who stubbornly refused to be organised or have any sort of routine and loved his mum and was terrified of his dad is dead.

I still look like him of course and still indulge in pizza, diet coke and mints, I still need tv and fiction to survive but now I brush my teeth 4 times a day (actually twice but I brush first with a manual to apply to toothpase then use an electric toothbrush), shower weekly, keep a diary, use a calender, take care in my appearance and eat veg with my main meals aswell as drinking fruit with my dietcoke. It's not new either, all have been done for atleast 6 months and have travelled with me away from home. This is no fad or pretend turn over of my life. This is fact! I am a very different person although still basically the same at the core.

And I am on course to work in the media industry where many people have stage names or pseudonyms.

So I want to change my name to Gordon Jones.

It won't really affect you lot as you know me as Farsh-nuke but hence forth I shall be known as Gordon Jones, not Alex Jahans.